Me 32m, her 29f. 5 years and engaged, it’s not working on multiple levels. It’s likely more than time we break up after a brutal 6 months and a lot of differing needs. Every time I get close, I think about the past and how things were and a (false) hope of how good they could be. How to let this go?

Hi everyone - I’m just having such a hard time. It’s my first relationship and for a long time it was good with a lot of love and support and care and laughter, but things just aren’t working for us now, for a while now, and it feels like we’re at the end of the line, or beyond it. It’s been really hard on both of us. We’re both really hurting. We’ve tried to ‘fix it’ so many times and I think it’s only highlighted how far apart we are on some fundamental things, yet I still have hope that another ‘fix it’ attempt could get us back to great even though I know it to not be true.

How do you 1) not let the past stop you from letting go and 2) move forward and keep the reasons for breaking up front of mind and not romanticize about all of the good times? I’m also wondering how you finally give up the hope that it will be great again so that you both can move forward and be free. Neither of us seem to be able to let go.

Thanks for any advice.