17m just feeling it

I know im 17 but is it wrong to want a relationship? to want a girlfriend? I just want to have some to be there to talk to listen to hold just someone to give love and receive love from? Im not a peice of shit i mean i stay quiet and be corigul and nice to people who wanna talk to me maybe I need to put myself out there more? Who knows i dont drink I don't do drugs I dont party is that what I need to do? I see all my friend's and peers around me in relationships the sporty jocks and dudes who just vape and be a child i don't understand it im not ugly chubby sure ugly? Then when I say friend's i mean more like guys I have in classes I don't really get along with people around dudes mainly guys my age I feel the need to fight them idk why I can talk to girls easier idk why.

Im also a boxer and I recently sprained my wrist and haven't been able to train and mentally its taking a toll im tired im pissed off im sad and depressed I dont know why is it the people? Is it the vibes? Is it the fact that i just really like punching people and getting hit in the face and like violence? Maybe and people say oh you can meet people at the gym im 17 snd I've training with grown men since I was 14 because I was to big to train with others my age so what girl in there mid 20s to 30s wants to date a 17 yearold? What dude in his mid 20a to 30s wants to friend's with a 17 year old...

Then my relationship with my parents sucks they're divorced I have zero relationship with my mom because shes very mentally abusive and manipulative then shes married to tbis guy and his son who she moved in when she had "no money to feed me" 4 years ago and before that i didnt see her for almost a year and I wanted time to gey to know her again and just build a relationship with her but she refused saying it's all or tuff luck and on my birthday 2 years ago she offered to tske me out for dinner I accepted then she said csn you come over instead ill make dinner and cake bf and bf's son feel left out and I absolutely refused not because it was change in plans but because she was choosing them over me keep in mind wed barely seen each other in a year thsts kinda when I just tuned her out and since then its just been her being manipulative and very not giving a shit about me im 17 I souldnt be the one being the adult in a relationship with my mom then my relationship with my dad is good we have a decent relationship we could be better at communicating but can't we all right? But thats not what bothers me hes very selfish I come home from school daily cook and clean then go to training and take care of our dogs and he gets home and lays in bed the dog poops at 1030pm im in bed chilling op come clean this up or hell he buys random collectibles and clothes that he just tosses aside or wears once spending a shit ton of money I ask for gear for boxing its op im a single dad this economy's really hard and theres Noone else to provide then gose and spends 250$ on shoes when he has like 5 that are in great condition but won't spend the same on gear for me that ill use daily.

I just want to feel loved and noticed and appreciated....thank you for reading my rant