Might kms

Crazy i know right. Im sure there's millions of these posts here. But Well im tired. Im addicted to a shit load of things that I cant help myself with, i have horrible relationships with my 'friends' i have no purpose in life, im miserable, i keep getting used, abused, and then abandoned all the time.

Im an 18 year old girl. I started smoking at 14. Im completely emotionally unavailable. I feel no remorse because everything inside me has totally died. I think animals are better than people. I have thought about ending it a dozen times, thought about how I'd do it. The only reason im still here is because im simply a coward.

I hate my mom and my dad, i hate everybody, i don't love anyone except my brother. But he himself sometimes doesn't understand it. Or he's not good at listening. I don't blame him.

My life is plain out boring, my body feels nothing, my soul is numb. I told my distant friend about how i felt and he just told me "you're too pretty to waste that so soon." As if my whole life is supposed to stay afloat because of my looks. Im not seen as a person i believe. But rather as an object. I've cvt myself to feel something once, it only gave me scars, it didn't heal anything.

I don't want people telling me to socialise and go out and to do a bunch of shit I've already given up on. I want a few solid reasons as to why life is worth living. What's so great about it when everything is just dull and gray. Fucking miserable. A means to an end. The loneliness is eating me alive from the inside out and i feel like im already rotting