How to help BP heal?

Sorry for posting so much. I am freaking out.

I had people tell me that I am focusing too much on myself. I understand that. All of my posts have been focusing on my depression and anxiety. However, there's a reason for that. I cannot help him if I cannot help myself.

It's been about a month. My partner is losing patience in me. I can tell. I have until after therapy tomorrow to either let him move in while I am unstable, or take a break and risk breaking up. Either would end in a breakup in the worse case scenario, I suppose.

It sounds insane, but I have taken notes. I know I shouldn't, but I have asked AI to look at some of our texts. The notes are based on those.

He is showing signs of denial and hysterical bonding. He isn't showing much emotion unless stressed and tells me he doesn't want to show me anger. I remind him that any emotion is ok to share. He instead ignores the pain and uses positivity and wishful thinking. He is more focused on comforting me. I think I made this mistake by crying and venting to him before I knew better. I still tell him how scared and clueless I am about everything. He wants to fix me with exposure. That doesn't work on a depressed person. He is trying to be reassuring yet controlling by telling me to get thoughts out of my head. I told him that he can't help me and I can only help him, and that is what I was met with. Control.

His ultimatum or boundary (I'm not sure) is to make a decision by tomorrow. I can't do that when I am this clueless about my mental health and stressed. I explained this multiple times. I asked if he wants to try visiting first. He ignored that. Although moving in could show physical progression, it could make it an illusion. I'm afraid his resentment will show up while we are moved in together. I want to protect him from that.

Some other things I am worried about is that he said I cheated "out of kindness for my friend" or "he would of done the same." He is minimizing what I did. I tell him that I was me being stupid and making a horrible decision rather than being good. It won't get through to him. He constantly contradicts his words.

I understand this isn't something that goes smoothly. I know a BP is going to struggle with emotion. I am simply just lost for what to do. I am scared to even try talking normally to him. I don't want to be stuck. I want to make progress.