Can't tell if (M43) husbands reactions are out of proportion or if (F33) I am indeed the asshole... AITAH

So I've been with my husband for 3 years. He's an amazing human, an amazing partner, and the love of my lives. But lately, something has been bugging me. It seems like he throws tantrums or freaks out.

For some context, he works very hard, he is an entrepreneur, and is currently launching 2 businesses and is a consultant for a few others. This is by far the most stressed I have seen him. I help with one of the businesses, and I am currently designing a ring collection (I am a jewelry designer). I do most of the house work (laundry, tidying, dishes, grocery shopping), and I track our finances as well as most of the travel planning, doctors appointments, etc. He works a lot, and he also cooks most meals.

Anyway, I think the stress is getting to him but I can't quite put my finger on what to call it, or if he's being unreasonable, or possibly I'm just an asshole. The last incident that happened was today. He just flew somewhere for work for the week, where we used to live. We will likely go back there, but have been spending time in Mexico for the last year and a half. We have a car there that we rent out to people, bc bringing it here just didn't make sense. When he landed, he called me and I told him he'd need to get an oil change on the car. He freaked out saying he wouldn't have time, why didn't I tell him sooner, I can't just drop this on him, the renter will have to do it, etc. I told him it takes an hour at most, and he can surely find the time, it's not appropriate to have the renter do it. The renter already got our tires changed and I reduced the rate for this favor. They were supposed to change the oil with the tires, but it didn't happen, so can he please just figure it out. He was really upset and basically just freaked out on me for 5 minutes and hung up.

Now I understand that it's annoying for plans to change, but at the end of the day, it's not a huge deal, and I've given him enough notice to figure it out. We have been super busy and it just slipped my mind to update him when plans changed around the oil change 3 days ago. I feel like my reaction would not have been nearly as dramatic, and I would have just figured it out instead of throwing a tantrum and scolding my partner.

The night before his flight, he also had a freak out. He asked me that day to help him book a taxi to the airport since he had to get a ride very early around 4AM. He sent me a link. I started to fill out the booking, but realized it made more sense for the communication to be on his phone so he would be in direct contact with the taxi. I sent the whatsapp form through his phone, and told him he just had to wait for a confirmation from them. Well, they responded but he forgot to confirm, and they closed before he could secure his taxi. He freaked out and yelled and scolded me and said I didn't help him like he asked. I felt bad and tried to offer solutions, but everything I said seemed to just make him more upset. He spiraled for a solid 20 minutes. Like I said, I felt bad, but I assured him there are always cabs out, esp at the bus station thats a 10 min walk away. He woke up early to make sure he got one, and I woke up to a text from him apologizing saying he got one in minutes and it wasn't a big deal.

One of the patterns of this behavior is that he often realizes things are not as big a deal as he makes them out to be, and apologizes later for his behavior. The difference between how I react when he makes a mistake, and how he reacts when I mistake, is huge. Last example: I once locked the keys to our apartment inside, with no spare. Again, he lost it, scolded me, etc. A few weeks later, he did the same exact thing, and my natural reaction was "it's ok, we'll figure it out, lol".

Am I the asshole? Am I not considerate enough? Am I just way too chill? I don't know what to call it but his behavior doesn't seem good or healthy, and I want to be able to identify what is unhealthy about it if that's the case, so we can do better. I wonder if there is something I can do when I see he is spiraling that will nip it in the bud, or relax him, ground him, etc. We are so good but this is bumming me out. I know stress plays a role, and no one is perfect, but what do you think?