I feel like my baby doesn't love me.  

For context, we have a 4 month old. He was a difficult newborn but has turned into a wonderful infant. Hes happy, playful, and full of smiles. Of course he cries and gets fussy but overall, he's a great baby.

I struggled while I was on maternity but my husband was amazing and while we both had ups and downs, we found a way through together. When my maternity was up at 10 weeks, we decided he would stay home with him as his job didn't bring in enough to justify daycare. Neither of us were super worried about "traditional" roles and decided once he got a better opportunity, then we would revisit daycare options.

The first few weeks were hard. The baby was tough in all the typical newborn ways, and my husband struggled some days with being home all day alone with him (as anyone would). Not everyday, but it happened. Those days would be stressful for me as well, struggling with mom guilt of being away and trying to figure out ways to help while not being physically present.  I'd come home some days to a fussy, witching hour baby and try to help as much as possible.

As he got older, they found a rhythm.  The baby started settling and my husband and him bonded. It has been beautiful to watch.  It makes all of our lives better and I'm so grateful.  When I get home its to a happy husband and baby smiles.

It's become evident though that I'm missing so much. My husband sends me pictures and videos all day, and when I get home I try to spend as much time as I can with my boy and do the bedtime routine. The hard part comes when I can clearly see that my baby prefers my husband 99% of the time.  I'll be playing with him, and he'll be content but as soon as my husband comes in the room, he'll light up like he never does for me.  If hes fussy and struggling and I can't settle him, my husband can calm him just by holding him.  If he needs to go down for a nap, I'll bring him in for a snuggle and contact nap and he'll fuss and cry but if my husband takes him he'll fall asleep on his chest with no problem at all.

It breaks my heart and while I know the roles are usually reversed (and I know I JUST stated we don't care about traditional roles), it hurts and I feel mire like a frequent visitor than his mom.  I know I should be grateful things are going so well as a whole, and I am, but I wish I was the kind of mom that my son finds comfort in no matter what.

To top it all off, my husband is going away for four full days next week and I'm terrified that the whole time will be difficult because my son is going to want him and not me, and that frankly, I dont know how to care for him as well as my husband. I'm hoping the time alone will give us time to bond, but I'm afraid it will only make me feel worse.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Am I being too sensitive?