Feeling disappointed

So for reference I have been riding for about 6 years (not consistently throughout that time due to money but for a lot of it) and I recently bought a horse who I love to death but to say the least she needed some training. She bucked me off and broke my finger 🥲. So since buying here I havent rode rode (more than a walk) since about November. And last actual time since end of March (when she broke my finger). So I moved her to a training barn and realized damn I probably should take some lessons to freshen up on my EQ but I didn’t realize just how bad that had gotten and just how shaken my confidence was. I think it was partly muscle issue but mostly cowardliness. my lesson went awfully to say the least.

For reference the horse I was riding is VERY well trained in reining and has a lot of buttons (keep in mind ive taken like 10 reining lessons ever) so that in itself was a lot to learn. But I was so nervous up there and when we asked to trot I was so bouncy, couldn’t even post and over all felt SO embarrassed. Like how do I have a 4 year old “challenge horse” if I cant even ride. It was humiliating. I couldn’t really get her to move it was just a lot to take in and one of the guys who ive never met before literally asked my trainer if that was my first lesson. I basically just wanted to cry the entire time.

Like I know itll go back to how it was with practice it just sucks because to get back to that point ill have to take lessons on their horses and they aren’t necessarily cheap.

Its so frustrating since before I got her and before I fell I was literally riding another horse bareback and cantering like it was nothing. And the last ride I had on said horse we literally galloped through a field and I wasnt scared or anything

Has anyone else been through something similar?

Also I rode in a western saddle today but im thinking about riding english next time and if they will allow bareback to build up muscles and also since I ironically feel safer bareback