Kinning a character in my fandom is making it nearly impossible to interact with said fandom
In March, I started writing a fanfiction about my brother and I. At the time, I was new to officially identifying as fictionkin and had very few memories. However, the process of brainstorming and plotting the fic triggered a lot of them. Every time I would make something up for the story, it would remind me of something else that actually happened.
I decided to stick with my original idea for the fanfic, even if it didn't match up with my memories. The whole point was to develop my creative writing skills, after all.
I'm now 17,000 words in and confused. My memories are taking up so much of my focus that writing about something else just kinda feels strange. I don't want to give up on the fanfic; I probably just need a break because I'm currently being overwhelmed with too many unpleasant reminders of things that happened to me in canon. But I had promised myself I would finish most of this story by the time I go back to school next year, so I could focus on studying. It feels a little wrong to take a break.
It's frustrating how much kinning a character can ruin your relationship with fandom stuff.
Stories of any similar experiences in the comments are welcome.
Posted Jun 3, 2026, 1:41 AM UTC