You don't know what you have until its all gone.

You don't know what you have until its all gone.

My earliest of memories all feel lost in a fog,

Torn in a tug-of-war between my dad & my mom.

Happy or sad--its filtered in grey,

It sucks when the haze of a past is torn up & frayed.

I need help mom & dad--but you took those colors away...

You don't know what you have until its all gone.

Spent my childhood moving--college was a cottage to relax,

& with a nice stable job after that--had a home of my own.

But where my trunk began rooting, the branches would crack.

My first love gave betrayal & my second love hope,

Then the second just as painful with that text on their phone.

My third one was my best friend--but I couldn't trust in my chest,

We hugged, we cuddled, we watched movies, we'd vent,

Until she found another--& now I'm truly alone.

Before? I craved this me time--now I just kinda feel dead.

You don't know what you have, until its all gone.

Lost the first job & spent some time in a rot,

Got a second, better job--but the motivation feels lost.

Second love reached out--her new relationships stopped,

I was friendly but intentionally kept my distance a few months,

But then I got weak & I sent her a text,

She had met someone new & wished me the best.

In the grand scheme of things--it doesn't look great.

I miss it when I had optimistic, philosophical shit to say.

All my brothers are married, all my loves have moved on.

Now I'm grubby, aged, weary, & my heads going bald.

At least I finally saw the colors, before I took them away.

I just need someone--but I don't know what to say.

I suppose its said better shorter than long...

You don't know what you have, until its all gone.