Please help me understand my alcoholic ex-boyfriend

Hello, all. I have a TL;DR at the bottom, but will try to keep it short.

My boyfriend of 10 months and I separated in October 2025. He would day drink to the point of passing out sometimes, often woke up late because of it, and — while it wasn’t every single day — it was often enough to bother me. I tried bringing this up to him a few times, but he would pull away from me and say “this is who I am, you have to accept it.” We broke up when I couldn’t get him to communicate with me about it at all without shutting down. My intention was to guide him towards doing something about it — I didn’t want him to be perfect, but I wanted us to walk together to try and resolve it.

In March of this year, I was particularly missing him. I got back in contact with the hope of convincing him to work on this again with me. We talked platonically for a few days and met for a reconciliation dinner — except, he showed up drunk. That was it for me and I said that “you’re right, I know we shouldn’t change one another since that’s not fair, so let’s just not reconcile.” He called me extremely awful things: a manipulator, that I did this to get revenge on him, that I should go to hell, etc. It hurt so badly. I took him home and we haven’t spoken since. He also said that if I ever want to reach out, I should delete his number. I believe he hates me.

I made a mistake in not taking him at his word at first: that he’s an alcoholic and accepted that about himself. But I’m having such a hard time, even still, accepting this paradigm, such as the below:

1. Wouldn’t an alcoholic still want to do anything they could if it’s for someone they love? Why wouldn’t he want to fight for us at all?
2. Does that mean I wasn’t good enough to fight for? My self-esteem is in the gutter after this. Could I have done anything or been anything more to convince him?
3. Does an alcoholic see drinks as their nectar for happiness? He told me once that he doesn’t want to feel stressed while drinking (implying my “nagging” him about drinking was stressing him out.)

TL;DR - My ex-boyfriend said he was an alcoholic and that it was his identity. I’m having such a hard time accepting that. Does it mean I wasn’t good enough or that I just wasn’t important enough to him? Could I have done anything more?

Thank you so much in advance for helping someone in pain.