40 weeks preggo, my biz is suffering, and ghe economy sucks

I'm just so tired of being pregnant. I totally thought I'd have this kid by now, but here I am, just large and extremely uncomfortable and devastatingly tired both physically and of the world in general. Nothing new is happening contraction-wise, and I'm so tired of waiting. I'm also trying to not feel resentful of the process, or of being a mom in general, because I run my own business and it's suffering because of both the pregnancy and the economy. I'm a photographer, and I've had consistent success through the past 10 years. Hell, I had my first kid almost 7 years ago, AND survived the pandemic immediately after fairly unscathed (somehow!), but this is the worst. Now, sales are down in general due to people understandably pinching pennies, along with me also not taking the higher paying gigs (weddings) for a few months now.

My husband is supportive, but I'm the financially-brained one and always feel like I'm having to play 4D chess with our money. He also switched to a less stressful yet lower paying job last year because his previous employer was so bad he was becoming a different person. I was 100% convinced it would end in heart attack or suicide if he didn't leave. Yes, I would rather be absolutely broke than dead, but it still sucks. We're overdrawn in our bank accounts despite cutting back on everything, and some clients have been slower to pay than I could've expected. When it rains it pours, I guess. But all that on top of being days away from giving birth? I'm trying not to fall into despair.

I am trying to be alert for signs of PPD before they happen as I am susceptible. But it's also just generally hard to get excited about much when your world just sucks. Like why did we decide to do this now, to expand our family? Oh, that's right, because I'm getting older and reproductive rights are threatened, and I'd rather it be on my terms than not at all. Thank goodness we are fully covered for our (near) future medical bills right now, and that our lights are on, and there's a little bit of food in the pantry, but still...things just suck and I want the suckiness to just STOP.