Things I’ve realized after cutting off a DA friend

Not a romantic breakup, but I was close friends with a dismissive avoidant and it destroyed my mental health for a while. I think because it was a friendship as opposed to a relationship I was slower to catch on and realize the pattern of triangulation, inconsistency and devaluation I was put through, and subsequently gaslit out of. There’s a lot I could get into, but to summarize, she began deprioritizing me for a romantic interest. She made me feel terrible about myself and at first I thought I was crazy for feeling that way, but looking back she would triangulate me with him as though she wanted us to fight for her attention. Obviously, instead of chasing I was confused and hurt.
Many other things happened, but ultimately I would bring up something kind of just objectively inconsiderate she did, and she would apologize and promise to change, but instead withdrew emotionally while acting flippant and nonchalant. Her actions didn’t match her words and she would pretend nothing was wrong, and I found myself profoundly confused and distressed.
It all culminated in her lashing out at me and accusing me of nitpicking her for addressing ongoing things she did. She basically internalized me saying (in the most gentle way) that she hurt my feelings as “you are not enough”. She projected all of her insecurities onto me despite me having to tiptoe around her to avoid triggering her, leading me to manage my emotions and hers.
I then realized that she cared more about her discomfort than the active pain she caused me, and I couldn’t make her understand my perspective so I distanced myself and stopped talking to her. After repeatedly over explaining myself I went silent. I also saw the way she treated her romantic interests as transactional sources of validation she dealt with based on convenience, and I realized her lack of effort in our friendship was because she never imagined her access to me would be jeopardized, so she didn’t feel the need to be considerate. Consideration was something she saw as a measure to maintain proximity to people, instead of her registering the other persons needs. She would dismiss me whenever I was upset and when I asked her not to, she told me I had to actively prompt her to show me empathy, even in the case of things where empathy would be a fairly obvious response, such as an instance in which I was hospitalized which she dismissed and changed the subject to her boyfriend.
She seemed to be confused why I pulled away and would make passive aggressive remarks about “silent treatment”, but then I moved away and continued not to reach out and I think it dawned on her that I wasn’t trying to control her through silence and distance, but that I was done.
She’s tried to breadcrumb me back by sending reels and things of that nature, but I have no intent on answering. Once I stopped talking to her, I realized just how much she’d constantly invalidated me in subtle ways, while her own lack of insight into her own motivations made me question my reality. How she constantly devalued me, triangulated me with others, including covertly putting me in situations where I would be treated poorly and by contrast, she would be admired. She would invite me to hang out with her male friends who were all men she’d turned down, and she said she “wouldn’t let them ignore” me, showing she was aware of the dynamic she intended to create. I think the most insidious part was she appeared very bubbly, relaxed and confident (sometimes to the point of arrogance) on the surface, which obfuscated how she was treating me and subtly put me down/be flippant regarding my accomplishments.
After I stopped talking to her I felt an immense sense of relief, and a lot of the emotional distress I’d been going through (feeling isolated and misunderstood) have gone away, and I realize it was due to this very subtle but constant devaluation of me in which she shrunk me to make herself feel comfortable. There’s a whole lot I could go into, but ultimately I’ve learned that if something doesn’t feel right, that’s all it takes. I’m never over explaining myself or tiptoeing around someone incapable of accountability ever again.