I think I understand stand the other side who say this ruins their lives.

​

I did a full round December/January. For depression/OCD. it really did help. And I will say that until the end.

But since February, Ive been getting off wellbutrine since I was completely hulk like from being overdosed since the TMS worked.

It's been an EXHAUSTING process. I was hoping to do another round of TMS during the process of getting off wellbutrine but timing didnt work.

I honestly would have bet money that it was perimenopause starting with how irrational I've been. Being rage, insomnia to a whole new level (im currently on 90m going into three days) I am the largest I've been in over ten years. I feel like a bloated cow, with anxiety chest so high I haven't had a solid deep breath in months.

I've been to three different Dr's that tell me to go some where else for something.

I work out three days a week, weight training, im doing any where from 11-17 hours worth of body work, eat chicken/salad/rice five days a week, i dont drink, im constantly chugging water.

Im 5'1, ten pounds is A LOT and I can not shake it.

Ive done hormone panels, blood work, "everything is fine" dont worry about it.

Tonight I literally took six different sleep aids at 5:30pm with some random weed drink. Its almost 9. My eyelids will not touch to save my life.

TMS 100% helped me, getting off the meds is going to make me end it completely though. I gave myself a bloody nose out of pure frustration because existing shouldnt be THIS HARD. I just want it to end.

Im sorry this whole post is stupid.

Yes im in therapy, yes im medicated.

Just didnt think "perfectly healthy" was going to be this miserable.