recently noticed mood swings and started researching now i feel like its all placebo

so to make it long story short ive always had this ‘sadness’ in me ever since i remember i used to have times when i was just sad and down for no bigger reason

recently by biggest breakdown was about a month ago, then i realised i NEED to seek help as it become unbearable. it was in the middle of finals so i had bo way to do it

after the finals ended i started to feel more ‘normal’ and the last 2or so weeks i would descibe as fantastic.. nothing can bring me down im euphoric even

so i started researching psychologist near and stumbled upon different mental ilnesses

now i dont know if my ‘need for help’ is valid since i feel okay AND feel like im subconsciously making up things in order to feel ‘valid’ and sick iykwim