Weird feeling

I don’t exactly know why you blocked me. I mean you ended things and how would you not expect me to keep moving one step at a time. I went out two night ago to ease the chains that I have on me to feel welcomed and vulnerable not to meet some random and rebound. I think it’s fucked that you think I would do that. But now I see the bigger picture, the one you won’t admit to, the one you hid from everyone else not out of self respect for me but for hope. Hope that both of us would come together again and you can’t lie with that look in your eyes you gave me when I stopped looking into your eyes. The longing the yearning and love that you tried so hard to hide. I saw it all from the corner of my eyes. Honestly hard to admit but we wouldn’t have worked and I realized this that Sunday walking home in the dead of night, I never laid down my sword and shield and that’s why we didn’t work out. I really wanted to share with you how I was so exited for the next chapter but you won’t know that I decided to be abstinent for the sake of my well being( and becuse my besti encouraged me) , that I decided it’s time for me to save up for my big move, but you got upset I started talking to someone new that mind you is going through relationships issues as well and in that moment we comforted each other not out of infatuation but out of understanding that everything will be alright, that sometimes it’s okay to stay still instead of moving fast. That’s what it was. Honestly you weren’t so caught up in your mind and genuinely asked me whats up with me and “mr stranger” you wouldn’t have believed me, and after all that you lost me now and I was slipping away. So the next time you see me you won’t reach me because I’m now a ghost and my footsteps will be marked on the ground with no trace of me whatever, so I’m moving forward and moving on and I’m leaving the broken pieces behind.