Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"

Disclaimer: The following post contains generalizations. If you stop at the idea that generalizations are evil in themselves, this is going to be a very boring conversation. If you feel like these generalizations don't reflect general trends in society, that'd be a much more fruitful point to make.

Confidence isn't just "someone who's not insecure," and you know this. A positive is not the absence of a negative. A handsome man is not "someone who's not ugly." It's someone who's exceptionally good looking. A confident man is someone who's exceptionally self-assured.

Most men are not confident. Most people are not confident. They don't light up a room. They don't take the lead, and make people feel at ease. If you think most people are confident, you've diluted the word to the point of meaninglessness, and you've done so to soften the reality that you desire someone stronger than yourself.

A lot of women are neurotic, they're anxious, they're fearful. They're indecisive. They don't know what they want for dinner. They want a man who's going to lighten that load. Someone more confident than they are. For a lot of women, that's what a man is. Not someone on their level who's going to weather the storm of life with them. Someone better than them, who's going to make their life easier.

But, they'd never frame it this way, because it exposes their own weakness, so instead it's, "Shouldn't we all want someone confident? Why would I want someone who's insecure?" You shouldn't, but that's dishonest framing. Men don't select for confidence at the rate women do, and it's not because they're looking for an easy target to control, it's also because they want someone aligned with themselves.

Y'all select for confidence at the expense of other traits. At the expense of kindness, and empathy. And.... I know, ideally you'd have it all! But, confidence reels you in first. You see it as masculine and then you pretend you don't. And, you can go ahead and select for that. Anyone shaming these women should consider the role that biology plays. But, if you're looking for a man to compensate for you, don't be surprised if he gets bored.