What were you symptoms you had for years that you brushed off?

For how long and what did they develop into that you couldn’t ignore anymore?

For me, I think I have been infected from multiple different ticks and multiple bites since I was a kid. From Kansas to the east coast to central Oregon to New England to Europe in my 20s. I did some research and most of my borrelia strands are actually predominantly found in Europe. I did a 6 week trip in 2017 in the summer, spent a ton of time hiking throughout Germany and Austria and the Italian/Austrian border. Ticks were not even on my mind at that time and I was 21 and basically drunk the whole time, didn’t even cross my mind to check myself for ticks. Obviously that doesn’t mean for sure that’s where I was bit but it gave me just a little bit of insight. It’s crazy how much exposure and infection is in my body because I actually grew up in Washington state which 20-30 years ago did not have a high tick population, so I’ve got infected this heavily from basically travel. Pretty wild.

Anyways, if I’ve had it for years and years like I suspect, then my symptoms started right when I got back from Europe that I noticed. I was 21, I had never even experienced anxiety before that point in my life or even feeling depressed, and I started having the most extreme physical panic attacks - physical is the best way I can describe it. Pounding heart, the walls were literally caving in, the most severe impending doom I truly thought I was going to die, no anxious thoughts would precede these panic attacks they literally came out of nowhere. I was in nursing school at the time and literally thought I was having a pulmonary embolism, that’s how intense the impending doom was. So a doctor tried putting me on Lexapro (didn’t do shit) so I stopped it. I tried therapy to “unpack any trauma” and I was literally honestly grasping at straws trying to come up with what could be bothering me so deeply and it just wasn’t there.

Fast forward a little a few years, and more severe anxiety developed with panic attacks again, poor coping, lack of some emotional control started but I kept it in check. As my 20s progressed, I started developing heavy OCD tendencies that was more “pure O” - the thoughts were so ruminating and perseverating. It was torturing me. No OCD therapy helped and no Zoloft or Lexapro worked (which to me now makes sense that no anxiety or mental symptoms from Lyme would ever respond to SSRIs). My sleep started getting absolutely horrible. And then that “wired but tired” feeling crept in over a few years and hasn’t left and only gotten worse. I’ve had MELTDOWNS in recent years about feeling soooo “burnt out” (I just turned 30) and blamed so much of it on my job (nursing). No amount of sleep, yoga, body work, breath work, meditation, therapy, exercise and eating good has worked. I feel drained to my bones and have for years atp.

Then 2 years ago I got into a relationship that ended up not working and the relationship was so all consuming stressful the entire time (we were not a good emotional match and it put me into fight or flight 24/7 worried he was mad at me, didn’t love me, was going to criticize me, etc), it made the OCD type thinking and burn out skyrocket. Then, I went to Florida last spring with my mom. I wonder if I got reinfected there and that’s what pushed things over the edge. I experienced an episode of heartburn on that trip that truly felt like a heart attack - pain radiating down my arms, to my jaw, my back, my shoulders, elephant on my chest, sweating, it was wild. When I got home, I started feeling weird nerve sensations all over my body that wasn’t going away. No rhyme or reason, just little sharp zaps or tingles that would happen every few seconds at a random spot on my body. Tested negative for COVID and a few other viruses. Even was getting parenthesis in my face (it was like the Lyme/bab/bart just spreading and settling in I swear), then after 2 weeks it just went away. I thought it was some one off weird ass virus I caught in Florida. Over the next few months after that, my relationship pressure cooker status was about to burst and thinks were getting worse and worse. I had a massive fucking silent panic attack in the back seat of his parents car on a family trip, and the next day, I woke up and the nerve sensations were back. But this time it HURT LIKE A BITCH. Stabbing, throbbing, sharp, dull, hot, cold, burning pain happening all over my body CONSTANTLY. And it didn’t go away for 3 months.

I got diagnosed during that time via vibrant with Lyme (6 strains), babesia, Bart, and SEVERAL other reactivated viruses. My vibrant panel lit tf up. Anyways, got out of the relationship and moved into my dads house in a very small town an hour away, switched jobs to something less demanding, and committed to healing and it’s kind of been hell. I’m going to a LL TCM who I trust with my life and it’s been such a slow process but I’ve made small but significant progress in the last few months. I’ve seen the light at the end of the tunnel several times, for it to be crushed again 2 weeks later. But I’m still early on with the antimicrobial herbs, I have a long ways to go.

Sorry I know this is so SO long but it’s therapeutic to write out my whole story to a community who can relate. When my horrible nerve/vascular pain and headaches are flaring, it makes me feel so much better to come here and connect with people who understand. I can’t stand talking about my Lyme&co or treatment with anyone outside of this community anymore tbh.