Hi friends! This is my first post on reddit(ever) and I'm hoping to find some direction or guidance. Any guidance or direction is deeply appreciated.

(Sorry the pictures are blurry, I pulled these from his obituary)

This man pictured was my first love 😭 his name is Sebastian and he suffered from schizophrenia, which was ultimately the reason behind his passing.

We dated when I was 18 for just about a year and built some good memories! Heck, I still think about him, which is how I found out about his passing. 

I wanted to reach out to him but he had no social media, and I got a new phone so I couldn't even ring him, I knew where his mom lived but I was not going to just show up to her house unannounced 😅 We  broke up because of his outbursts (was undiagnosed and therefore, untreated), and we just couldn't communicate pur expectations clearly. We actually reconnected a couple of times since because he reached out 💛

I hope he's okay, I hope hes at peace and I wish I had stayed in touch with him because he was absolutely worth the effort and trouble, we were both inefficient communicators which lead to anxiety and uncertainty. I really hope he's feeling better and is experiencing peace and reconnecting with his passed loved ones, especially his grandparents. His passing was a huge shock and pretty traumatic. 

Is there a way I could reach out to him? Is he okay with his passing? Is he experiencing peace? Does he remember me? I still have some old videos from 2017 haha! To be honest? I just really hope he's okay and would like for him to know I still hold good memories ☀️

I appreciate all of you, and reading this thread gave me hope!

My Ex Passed and It's Hard