How do I get a good consultation?

I am trying to figure out what I, as the client, am doing/saying wrong.

I've seen many stylists say that as soon as a client says "no one ever does it right," they think the client is difficult. But at the same time, I see skits of how a good consultation vs. bad consultation can go, and I have never gotten the example of the good one.

I bring in inspo pics and always say I'm open to what the stylist thinks would look good on me. I know I'm not a stylist. I know stylists went to school to learn how to make people look good. I trust experts' opinions over my own.

But I'm never asked about daily routine, product I use, anything like that. 9/10, the stylist curls my hair, and sure, I like it styled and fancy, but I do not have time to do that every day. So I end up washing it a few days later, and it looks completely different, and I end up not liking parts of it and have to just throw it into a ponytail until it grows back out.

So. What do I need to do/say to get someone to listen and actually help me leave with hair I can maintain and actually love.

For context, I usually only get haircuts. Maybe a deep condition if it's winter. I had one stylist I found but was only able to be with her for a year before she moved.