Parenting with CPTSD

This may be oddly specific, but I have CPTSD from how I grew up and then the long term relationship that followed. (no longer in that situation)

My question is how can someone who grew up in a cold home with no loving, personal, meaningful talks learn to have those sort of conversations?? All issues in my family were swept under a rug — or if I was going through something, I was made to feel like it was my fault.

I often watch Bob’s Burgers and am sometimes close to tears watching Bob and Linda have these sweet, motivational conversations with their kids. I know it’s a cartoon, but I also know that these meaningful discussions are actually normal, even though I never experienced them myself.

I have three kids, two of which are grown. I feel like I’ve let them down by not being able to get ‘real’ with them. I love them to the end of the earth, and they know that, but I could’ve done so much more when they were smaller. Feels like all I did was continue the cycle.

Anyways, I just don’t know how to let my walls down and offer good advice - I do my best when the occasion arises, but it just feels so foreign.

To anyone who took the time to read all this, thank you kind soul!