Question about gender and Autism?

'm late diagnosed (early 50's) female. I'm married to a neurodivergent male (he has ADHD) and as of late, I'm starting to question things about my gender.

I know I'm not a lesbian; in fact, I really don't have much sexual attraction to anyone, male or female although I've always dated/married men because it was the socially acceptable thing to do and my parents were always pushing me to get married, have kids etc...I never had any interest in being a traditional wife and certainly had no interest in having children. In fact, the thought of it is totally unappealing. I've never understood the traditional feminine standard..you know, the long hair, makeup, fashionable clothes, heels etc...I never saw the point in any of it and was always confused by it because it felt so fake for me. Plus, it was always uncomfortable for me to mask in those ways. I never enjoyed sex with guys although I masked my way through it. I find it messy, unnecessary, and gross. I hate the physical feeling of it.

I'm early in the process of trying to unmask; I'm starting to stim in public, as well as not hiding my facial/vocal tics and involuntary muscle movements.

Since being diagnosed, I took the plunge and cut my long hair into a shorter pixie cut which I love! I have serious sensory issues so short hair works for me. I've always begun wearing clothes that are actually comfortable....cottons, loose, jeans, loafers etc...and skipping the makeup altogether other than a little bit of lip balm. I feel good, but I'm wondering about neuroqueerness. A friend of mine said it sounds as that might be something I'm considering or maybe it's been there all along, so I'm just looking for a little bit of information or tips or thoughts on my post. This is my first time posting here, so I just thought I'd ask. Thank you.