Mike Mazzei might have sodomized a squirrel.

Are political signs still protected from people defacing them if the sign is put in the city maintained median? I've been told that it's illegal for me as a private citizen to remove someone's political sign, even if it's placed on city property illegally.

What's keeping me from making my own unhinged political signs and placing them directly next to these candidates signs in the median, or near stop signs and in places that are clearly not private property?

Here's some ideas for my political signs.

Mike Mazzei might have sodomized a squirrel.

Chip Keating is afraid of fish

Charles A. McCall puts ketchup on potato chips

Jake A. Merrick prefers diet shasta

Gentner Drummond has never ridden a bicycle

Feel free to respond with your own unhinged political sign ideas. It has to be wild enough to clearly be satire.