Vicious Mockery insults for Artificer Dad with 1 level in Bard

For context, imagine a suburban tool dad married with a son and a daughter who got sent out (hence his adventure with the party) to repair something. Someone who likes taking care of the party because they are someone's kids.

Best I can come up with is "My daughter can swing that hammer better than you can" or "my son can aim better when he was 10 than you can" or something along those lines, but that can get old quick. And I don't want to consult the A-I for it. And I don't mind if they are mean ones!