God’s Favourite Toy

“A toy made from the juxtaposition of the worst curse, and greatest blessing.” That’s how God described him.

From the clouds above, God watched Carl look down from the top of a skyscraper, pacing back and forth. A crowd watched helplessly at the man up top from the street. Dread grew like a flower amongst the bystanders. Some had their phones out recording, some were frantically yelling at him. But most were silent, numb. Police and firefighters quickly crowded the base of the skyscraper like ants in attempt to stop the chaos. The crowd still lingered amid the tower. 

God on the other hand felt no remorse. Watching from his screen, he perceived the horror as a form of entertainment; something to laugh at rather than cry from. He grabbed a cigar from his left and began smoking. The feeling of nicotine entering his brain was enough to sooth the adrenaline of the suicide. He snapped his fingers twice. Like magic, his servant appeared behind him.

“M-master.” His slave muttered, “What have I this blessing for?”

God chuckled, his booms of laughter hitting the paintings on his walls.

“I just wanted to show you this.” God responded. He gestured towards the TV and to the man about to jump.

“See him? That’s Carl.” God said, “He’s my… toy if you will.” He further continued. His servant looked nervously at the TV. He glanced around the room, then back at god.

“What do you mean toy?” His servant asked.

“I altered his mind and made him severely depressed. Yet at the same time gave him incredible luck to ensure he never truly dies. A toy made from the juxtaposition of the worst curse, and greatest blessing, if you will.” God explained as if this was an everyday occurrence for him. His servant simply nodded. Then suddenly, the inevitable happened.

Carl jumped off the skyscraper and into the crowd below. Silence filled the streets for one second. Then there was screaming. Screaming so loud and intertwined that it morphed into one high pitched sound. People covered their ears, dogs barked. The sound travelled through the city. Halfway down; hope dwindled away. And all that was left to be was the sound of guts splattering on the ground…

A worker walked out of the building in the nick of time. The sound of his bones crushing on themselves filled the ever-ending silence. God slapped his knee and bellowed in laughter.

“Did you see that?” God asked loudly. His servant looked at the screen in horror, his mouth covered by his hands.

“Y-yes. Yes I did! M-m-master.”He managed to tremble. 

God did nothing more than pat his servant on the back in mockery.

“And get me some more wine while you’re at it.” God requested. His servant looked around the room, the paintings on the walls and the now dead worker on the screen. His servant had only one goal in mind.

“Right away, master!” He said, already walking down the corridor.

On Earth the city had become a new man for a day. A man unfortunately alive and a man unfortunately dead, an ambulance came to pick Carl up. Carl in his crippled and bloodied state began wailing.

“WHY?” He screamed, unbeknownst to him that God was laughing in his despair. The bystanders had no words. Carl proceed to continue his spiel.

“Every fucking time I try to kill myself… some kind of force seems to stop me.” He further elaborated, “I try to hang myself, the rope breaks. I lie on train tracks? The train conductor makes a STUPID mistake and goes the wrong way.” Tears fell and landed on his tongue. 

After a few minutes of disturbed silence and crying, an ambulance came onto the scene and picked up Carl who was still wailing on the ground. The paramedics analysed him head to toe then looked at each other in wonder.

“You shouldn’t have survived.” One of them explained, “The chances of this happening are impossible!”. Carl looked at them meekly, then he looked at the sky. 

“Lord, kill me.” Carl prayed in a desperate whisper.

“Yeah sure. Sure mate.” God said sarcastically as he further waited on his wine. Only there was no wine to wait on.

God’s servant snuck down the stairs. The dust and other particles in the air stuffed his nose and caused him to start sneezing. He took off his jacket and covered it around his nose to muffle the sound. He got to the bottom of the stairs and opened the door. 

The room’s floors walls and ceilings were made of slightly rusty metal. Each footstep God’s servant took caused a distinct clang to echo across the surfaces. In the middle was a computer containing elements of both old and new, an allegory of God himself. The computer made distinct chirping noises; the sound of electronic buzzes were surrounding the computer. God’s servant knew of this computer from what God told him. It supposedly stored every person’s personality and general attributes. If God’s servant were to start somewhere, this would be it, Slowly, God’s servant tiptoed towards the computer, ensuring not to make a sound. He pressed the startup button. The machine came to life. Carl pressed the buttons slowly, taking his time. C. A. R. L. T. R. E. N. T. O. N. 

The computer’s screen flashed, a 3D model of God’s toy appeared on screen in a T-Pose. God’s servant scrolled down, looking at all his settings.

‘MENTAL HEALTH: LOW’ the computer shined. ‘LUCKINESS: HIGH’ it shined directly underneath. God’s servant pondered. He thought about the pros and cons of his choices:

If he were to set Carl’s mental health to high, God could still intervene and lower them back into how he wanted.

But if he were to set Carl’s luckiness to low, he would die. And God couldn’t use him as a toy any longer.

At the scroll of a mouse, God’s servant lowered Carl’s luckiness, anxiously waiting for the time to come.

In the ambulance, one paramedic drove as the other watched Carl’s ECG. Carl lay alive in a hospital bed, plugged into various machines and 18 broken bones from the landing on that poor worker. He didn’t know who the worker was, if he had a family or anyone else to come back home to. All he knew was that God had a vendetta against him.

And he would get him back.

Carl using all his might turned over and fell off the bed. Alarms rang as the paramedic rushed to get back on the bed.

“STOP THE VEHICLE!” The paramedic in the back screamed. The ambulance parked on the side of the road, the noise of the sudden brakes against the asphalt was ear piercing.

“No.” Carl whispered as he began to unplug himself from the machines. Both paramedics rushed to plug them back in. Carl continued resisting, unplugging everything that was plugged back in. In panic, a paramedic tripped on one of the bed frame, landing directly on Carl. Carl smiled and began to breathe lighter. His eyes opened as the realisation that he achieved his goal came through.

“I did it.” He whispered as his final words. One paramedic helped the other up and checked his stats, now coming face with the fact that he died in their care. They sat down and looked at his corpse, unsure of how to explain what had just happened.

In the clouds, God was having a meltdown. He threw his books at the wall in a frenzy. He was hyperventilating as the screen behind him showed what was happening on Earth. God knew someone tampered with the machine. But he wasn’t sure who. Unexpectedly, his servant showed up again, but no wine was visible.

“WHERE’S MY WINE?” God roared, his servant stepping back. His servant shrugged. “There was none.” He said. “All the wine has been drunk by you. But what should I have expected?”

“That there would be wine and that you would give it to me. That’s your job, your meaning.”

His servant glared at him angrily.

“I tampered with Carl’s stats. I lowered his luckiness to ensure he’d die.” He confessed.

“But I never wanted him dead, I wanted him in peace. I’m not like you. And I’ll never be. You make these living things into toys, toys that are tortured like a 3 year old girl treats her doll.”

God’s servant breathed in heavily.

And the one way to stop torture?” His servant turned around and began walking away. God considered stopping him, but decided against it.

“Fine, tell me.”

“Kill the victim.”

And with that, God’s servant walked out of the room, God ashamed in his chamber. For with the a scroll of a mouse, a human had managed to beat God.