Break up

I am a 17 year old ftm, and I was dating a boy (17) but today he broke up with me at 2 am. He told me never to contact him, and told me he doesn't feel sorry. A week ago we broke up for the first time for a day and got back together. I feel so lost. We were dating for 11 months, and I dont know what to do anymore. I keep throwing up, and all I can do is cry. I just kept getting mad at him over dumb things, I dont know why. I just feel angry all the time, I overreact to everything. I just want him so bad, everyone keeps telling me to find someone else and it's not a big deal, because I'm in highschool, but i can't. Finding a boyfriend is so hard when you live in a fuckass town. I can't find any gay people, and of course I have to have a stupid preference for masc guys so it's even harder. I just feel like im not even worth finding love anymore. I miss him. I dont know what to do anymore, I spent every minute talking to him, laughing, watching movies, and now he is gone. He dumped me at 2am I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye, he blocked me. I'm only 17, but I'm really starting to think im not worth love, I know I have years to go, but I jusy feel so alone. It hurts knowing I won't have anyone to say good morning or goodnight too, or someone to just listen to me. I truly hate love, what's the point of loving someone when you know they are gonna end up leaving you. I dont know what to do anymore. How would I even find other gay peoole, how can I even move on from him.