Medical abortion at 33 due to severe mental health struggles – scared I may never get pregnant again

Hi everyone,
I'm 33 years old and wanted to share my story because I feel very alone with all of this and don't really have anyone I can talk to.

I've been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years. I'm currently finishing my Master's degree, still living at home, helping care for my sick father, and supporting my mother who is overwhelmed by the situation. For the last few years I've also been struggling with stress, burnout, and feeling disconnected from my body after gaining weight and no longer being as active as I used to be.

I had never been pregnant before and always worried that I might have fertility issues. A friend told me that if I wanted children in the future, I should start trying sooner rather than later because it can take longer to conceive in your 30s. I honestly never expected to get pregnant right away, especially with all the stress in my life.

To my surprise, I became pregnant immediately and found out around 5 weeks. At first I had very mixed feelings, but within a week my mental health completely collapsed. Along with extreme fatigue, vomiting several times a day, diarrhea, and dehydration, I developed severe panic attacks. I cried constantly, felt terrified all the time, and even had suicidal thoughts. I genuinely believed I was losing my mind.

I reached out to my gynecologist, my family doctor, a psychiatric clinic, and a women's clinic, but I felt very unsupported. My boyfriend wanted the baby and was devastated by my decision. My family told me it was "a gift from God" but didn't really help me through the crisis. Eventually, I chose a medical abortion (at 7 weeks) because I was genuinely afraid I might harm myself or become seriously mentally unwell.

The abortion itself went physically well. However, at a follow-up appointment my gynecologist saw that there was still retained tissue in my uterus and prescribed Cytotec for five days. At my next appointment, the tissue was still visible on ultrasound. But a few hours after that appointment, I passed what I believe was a significant piece of tissue. My gynecologist doesn't know this because I haven't gone back yet. I'm honestly afraid of making another appointment because I feel embarrassed and worried that I'm bothering her, but I also want to know whether that was the remaining tissue.

Now my biggest fear is fertility. I'm 33, this was my first pregnancy, and I can't stop worrying that I may never get pregnant again or that I somehow ruined my chances. I'm in therapy and working through everything, but the fear remains. Part of me already wants to try again one day, although my doctor advised me to finish my Master's degree first and focus on my mental health.

Has anyone here had a medical abortion in their early or mid-30s, especially with retained tissue or a longer recovery? Were you able to go on and have a healthy pregnancy later?

Thank you for reading. I would really appreciate hearing your experiences, because right now I feel incredibly alone.