I feel mentally exhausted living in a toxic family. How do I survive and focus on my studies?

Hello everyone,

I'm 19F, turning 20 this September. & Tbh i feel very lost and alone right now, so I'm posting here because I don't really have anyone to talk to.

I come from a very difficult and toxic family environment. In 2025, I failed my 12th board exam (Science stream - PCMB). I was extremely scared of my family's reaction, so I lied and told my father I scored 428 marks. Unfortunately, the truth came out publicly, and a teacher from my school (which I don't know ki he's from my school cuz I'm dummy) ended up telling people in front of others that I had failed. and since then I've been constantly reminded of it.

In 2026, I repeat class 12th and scored 71.60%, but my family still treats me like a failure. My mother and younger brother keep bringing up my past result, insulting me, and making comments about my studies, my future, and even my appearance.

My mother and younger brother constantly taunt me. My brother makes fun of my looks, my studies, & almost everything about me. This isn't normal sibling teasing.

Financially, we're not doing well either. My father is a farmer, we live in a rented room for studies cuz our village has very limited opportunities, and there is a lot of debt in the family. I also do most household chores cooking, cleaning, washing utensils, fetching water, etc.

Even after doing all this, I get accused of being lazy or not doing enough.

I recently passed 12th and I'm waiting for college allotment. I want to prepare for govt exams after 12th qualification and aim for exams in 2027. The problem is that my college will most likely be in my state. so I'll probably have to continue living with these same people for a few more years.

My question is:

•How do I survive mentally in an environment like this?

•Should I stop arguing and just ignore them?

•Should I talk less?

•How can I protect my confidence when I'm constantly criticized?

•What kind of daily routine should I follow so that I •can focus on my studies instead of getting emotionally affected every day?

•If anyone has lived in a toxic family environment and managed to build a better life, I'd really appreciate your advice.

Thank you for reading this long post <<3🌻