Do you have significant prosodic differences that affect your relationships?

My natural, neutral voice is quite monotone and flat. I speak literally and clearly. And I am told I sound rude, combative, disinterested, hateful, argumentative, brash, etc.

I have to consciously modulate my voice to give it that sing-songy sound that most people naturally. So it's super exhausting and feels like I'm literally just putting on a performance. And usually people can tell, because I'm not good at it, so they think I'm being sarcastic or think I'm lying because they can tell my tone isn't genuine.

It causes significant conflict in relationships because the people I care about think I'm not "gentle" enough with them. But obviously I can't monitor these things in real time. I usually don't even know I sound different from them unless they point it out.

It's really wearing me down and some days I just wish I hadn't been born, because autism makes my life so difficult and isolating and sad.