I am feeling forced to name this baby after my partner’s deceased father

I (42F) am 9.5 weeks pregnant and on the day I found out I was expecting, my boyfriend (M44) asked that we name the baby after his dad, who passed away in 2007. I was caught off guard but said yes because he seemed so excited about it. It’s now been over a month of considering the name (Frank) and I really don’t love it as a first name. He said he would also want to give the kid his dad’s middle name and last name, which his grandpa had as well, so this would be the third family member with the exact same name. I don’t love the concept and I don’t love the name unfortunately. I told him last night that I’d like us consider other options.

When I suggested we use his dad’s name as a middle name to honor him and work on finding a first name we both love, he got quite upset. He said middle names mean nothing to him, that this is the only name he wants if it’s a boy and that I should just choose by myself if we don’t use the name because he won’t love anything else. He also said it was shitty of me to agree to it and then change my mind and said he felt very insulted that the family name wasn’t good enough for me. He said I wasn’t there when he told his mom we were naming the baby Frank and that she cried.

We aren’t finding out the baby’s sex but he has also told me that the only girls name he likes is his grandmas. When I suggested we honor her by making it a middle name he had basically the same reaction and told me to just pick a name myself because he won’t like any others. We fought last night and haven’t spoken yet today.

I feel badly about changing my mind and feel badly that he has had this name in his head for 20 years… but it is so not me. Maybe he feels like he should get to choose because I have two older sons already, but I chose those names collaboratively with my ex. I’m just in shock that there is no discussion and no compromise on his end.

Am I being unreasonable? Should I just let him name this baby because it means so much to him, even if I really don’t care for the name? I’ll be honest: the disagreement, the breakdown in communication and the unwillingness to compromise or collaborate on a name has me very concerned about the relationship. We’ve been together over a year and I love him deeply but I am questioning whether I can really hope to raise a child with this man if this is how we are going to handle tough decision making.

I welcome your thoughts and insight because I’m feeling lost and upset.