And it goe on and on and on...

Stupid me. I can't let go. She doesn't call me, she doesn't write me, if I write I can wait for days to receive a stupid emoji for a reflected message. I'm so angry but can't say STOP. Can't go no contact, can't focus on my shit. Just craving, pain, plans that never will come true. My phone rings? Always euphoria followed by disapointment. Other women? No chance. I've tried, I've kissed, no pull, no feelings, just thoughts about her. It is so painfull to see what I am doing, without beeing able to hit a break. I can describe everything precisely, I know it isn't real love, I know we won't be together the way I want, I know there will never be a "us" ... but I can't let go. It is an addiction. Rant over ....