I(21M) am hating myself for having feelings towards my friend (20F)

Me and my friend have been friends for the past 2-3 years. We established early on that it was a platonic friendship, and that was fine with me. We hang out and talk all the time, and I genuinely enjoy being around her. But recently in the past 6 months, I have not been able to get her out of my head. I don’t think a day has gone by where I haven’t thought about her either when I first wake up or go to sleep. Every second I’m awake in the past few months has been filled with a desire to just be around her. And I can’t fucking stand it.

I have no reason, besides the fact that we’re friends, to not want to date her. But I have a couple reasons why I think it would be better for us to stay friends. In my mind I think it’d be better for us to stay friends, but I can’t get the thought of being in a relationship with her out of my mind.

We had a conversation recently where she talked about how she was unsure about house she felt about me. She said that at the very least I was her “very good favorite friend.” And she even said that she was trying to figure out our relationship around the same time I was; and she ultimately decided not to label it because she liked how things were.

And I feel like this put some delusion in my head that makes getting over my infatuation with her more difficult. She told me she was aroace or was possibly Demi since, to this point, she hadn’t really gotten that attached to someone to know(even though she has had a boyfriend in the past). So while her saying she thought about our relationship made me think something more could happen, it is entirely possible that she might not be able to have romantic or physical attraction to me at any point. So that is a bit confusing for me.

Another concern of mine and reason I hate myself for having feelings for her, is because she told me that almost every male friend she has had has at some point developed feelings towards her. This made me feel like an asshole and I actively tried my best to fight it, but I couldn’t. It just made me feel like a nuisance, or a pest. And one time recently we were texting about something and the topic came up. And she said that she found her guy friends developing feelings for her funny and that it was part of some elaborate bit. This pissed me off a bit cause it felt like she was making a mockery of how I feel, and it felt like I was being made to be a punchline.

I still hang out with her all the time and am trying my best to just let the feelings just go away, but it’s not getting any better. And I’ve felt like she’s recently been less engaged and doesn’t feel like talking to me as much anymore.

I hate these feelings so much, because I genuinely could see us being friends forever; but I can’t help wanting a relationship with her—even knowing that it probably won’t work out.

Is it possible for us to keep being friends, or should we try dating?