So miserable and fed up, somehow still terrified to leave

Hello, I've (35F) been married to my husband (37M) for 13yrs together 16yrs. The relationship has always been one sided. We now have a house and two kids (2yrs and 3mo). I am the only one working, I handle most of the housework and adult responsibilities. He frequently ignores my needs. There is no more romance, we fight frequently. No part of me wants him anymore. He treated me terribly through both pregnancies. I feel ashamed and weak everytime I talk about my marriage with others.

I have scheduled a consultation with a divorce lawyer. I am still completely terrified of this process. I don't know how to break it to him. I have tried leaving in the past and he always gets me to stay. He is so manipulative. I know he's going to try to talk me out of it again. Despite everything he has done to me I still feel bad about destroying his whole world.

I absolutely need to leave, but it still feels crazy and just so scary. Anyone out there in the same situation or on the other side? Thanks!!!