Impregnation fantasy

I just turned 18F last month. Even before i have the fantasy of losing my virginity to a very old man, preferably 55+, and letting him leave while i carry his baby.

I have the habit of watching porn and imagining myself as the women. I love watching Tyce Bune or Ryan Madison. The thought of getting me knocked up without my knowledge/consent turns me on so much. Getting fucked by a man with the intent to knock me up and leave turns me really on.

I don't want to be a mom yet nor do I want to have a baby. Just the thought of being ruined is so hot for me that I want to make it a reality, since my mom is working abroad and our nanny is going back to her home town for a couple of months leaving me alone.