How to manage being the only single person (27F) at family gatherings?

Hi everyone!

I don't know if this is the best place to post this, but I will give it a go. I've been single for around 4 years, after my last relationship ended in a very traumatic way (it was a very toxic relationship, and I'm editing what he did to me one night I was drunk because Reddit wouldn't let me post here if I keep it). Since then, my younger cousin (24F) and my little sister (21F) have gotten in relationships with people that seem great. I haven't tried meeting other guys ever since breaking up with my ex because I'm honestly scared of men, my self-esteem has taken a huge hit for some reason so I can't bring myself to try and look for partners, and I work remotely and I find it difficult to meet people organically. Anyway.

For about two years, every time there's a family gathering, my sister's boyfriend and my cousin's girlfriend are invited, and I'm the only person that is single, and I feel kind of alone sitting at those tables. They even put me at the end of the table "because I'm the only one that goes alone" while my parents, uncle and aunt sit together and my cousin and sister sit next to their partners. I feel extremely embarrassed of being the eldest "child" in my family and the only one without a partner, and it feels really isolating. What can I do to overcome that feeling? I honestly get awful anxiety the days prior to those family gatherings.

Maybe this sounds dumb. I don't know. I would appreciate someone giving me advice on how to manage this the best way I can. Thank you!

tl;dr I'm the only single member of my family and I feel awful at family gatherings.