feeling like shit during pride month

every year i celebrate pride month by taking a day out and sharing my coming out journey to a safe space, as well as show my appreciation and gratitude to my family & friends who have loved me for who i am. however, this month has started out terrible.

this month i signed up for a camp that i was pretty interested in, i knew i had to wear my school uniform for this camp (i was ok with it because i ignore it often in school) but i didn't know how bad my dsyphoria would get :( i was deadnamed the entirety of the camp, leaving me no chance to introduce myself as my chosen name (there were some professional ppl and i had to wear a name tag with my deadname on it) and everyone was misgendering me 24/7. at first i ignored it and brushed it aside (i do that often esp in my country where lgbtq isnt greatly accepted by society) but soon it got worse after 14 hours of this nonstop torture 💔

ive never felt so self conscious and horrible ever, my head hurts and i feel like everything around me just disappears into a blur until i lie down by myself . its starting to interfere with me actually enjoying the contents of this camp and i feel really bad for not doing so.

i don't feel safe opening up to ANYONE in this camp because i don't know anyone personally so im kind of just stuck here.