Need advice - Does the guilt and resentment ever go away after rehoming a cat you love?

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Hello everyone.

This is a really hard post for me to write, so please be kind. I'm mostly looking for advice from people who have been in a similar situation.

I have to rehome my cat, and I'm absolutely heartbroken about it.

I adopted him from a shelter 2 years ago, and he honestly feels like my baby, he is around 8 years already. He is FIV positive and has always been a difficult cat when it comes to other cats. Even at the shelter, he had to have his own room because he couldn't be housed with other cats.

He's a very big, confident boy with a huge personality and he can be territorial. He also has a history of biting, although we've worked on it a lot over the years.

The problem is that my boyfriend and I are finally at the point where we want to move in together. He already has two healthy cats that he's had since they were kittens (he thought about rehousing them, but then we would have the same problem) We've thought about separate rooms or trying to find a place with multiple floors, but realistically it's very difficult.

And honestly, I don't think permanent separation would be a good life for my cat either. He loves having access to his people and having space.

I've asked family, friends, and everyone I can think of. Unfortunately I don't have much family left due to losing them early in life, so my options are limited. There is a very nice shelter interested in taking him and helping find the right home, but the whole situation is breaking my heart.

What I'm struggling with most is the guilt and the feelings I have toward my boyfriend's cats. I don't dislike them, and I know none of this is their fault. It's not their fault, and it's not my cat's fault either. But I find it hard to warm up to them because every time I look at them, I'm reminded that my own cat is losing his home because they can't safely live together.

Has anyone else gone through something like this?

Did the guilt ever get better? Did the resentment or sadness toward the other pets eventually fade? Were you ever able to make peace with your decision?

Right now I feel like I'm grieving a loss that hasn't even happened yet, and I don't know how to handle it.