\-continuing a pointless, almost entirely centered around homophobia and poop, Macho Man and his harem plan to take revenge on Big Sexy for drowning them in doo doo feces by drowning *him* in doo doo feces! More specifically in Macho Man’s feces, collected over at least 6 days in a container by Macho, who demands people smell them and praise him because he’s an actual menace to society.

Also he has stolen Scott Steiner’s *and* the Godfather‘s gimmicks (ESPECIALLY their catchphrases, Macho demands you say he came with them first) and he may need to go to a doctor since his feces resemble toxic sludge than any human produced excrement.

\-Eric Bischoff is on commentary, he won’t shut the fuck up, he keeps talking about stuff that only 1999 online marks care about AND IT’S ANNOYING.

WE GET IT, YOU USE INSIDE TERMS, WE DON’T CARE. STOP TALKING ABOUT SABLE’S LAWSUIT WITH WWF OR HOW VINCE MACMAHON IS THE HIGHER POWER BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE ON ABOUT.

CALL THE MATCHES OR SHUT THE FUCK UP

\-the match between the man formerly known as the Sandman and Prince Iaukea is delayed for what seems like forever because Sandman is smoking and also because Eric (as he openly says numerous times through out) bought Sandman just to own Pauly and ECW, kept him on as a rib and now he‘s starting to regret it because Sandman is a bad wrestler. 

The entire point of this match, other than PUSHING HUGH MORRIS AND BRIAN KNOBBS VIA RUN IN/BURYING THE ENTIRE HARDCORE/CRUISERWEIGHT DIVISION, is to make you feel ashamed for ever liking the Sandman as a wrestler and also ECW. Eric slaps Jimbo as hard as possible and the match starts, with Iaukea doing all his moves on Jimbo til Raven’s sister hits him with a fire extinguisher. Jimbo fails to do any moves on Iaukea despite being knocked out because he sucks. None of the tables breaks and that’s on purpose because WCW hates Sandman. The match ends in a DQ because General Penis and Nasty Brian Ball Licker have to get pushed.

\-DJ Ran is incredibly annoying and I loathe his existence

\-Scotty Riggs has stolen Mr Wonderful’s gimmick and continues being bad at wrestling against Lenny Lane, whose gimmick is just a rib towards Chris Jericho. The match is almost similar to the ones Rocky Maivia would have on Shotgun Saturday Night. Tony and the Brain long for death.

\-the war for control of the WCW Universe between God Emperor Ric Flair and Chaos Primarch Roddy Piper continues, as each continues being too unhinged to actually run the company. Flair seduces Benoit back to his side with the promise of tag titles and then abandons him for no reason, leading to Perry Saturn randomly joining in the match as his tag team partner (and also the new member of the Four Horsemen? Maybe?) Piper promises Bagwell a title shot if he wins control of the company at the Great American Bash (oh yeah btw this is the go home to the Great American Bash, don’t worry no one else cares about it) BUT ONLY IF he doesn’t drop the ball and have a horrible singles run! \[Narrator: Buff proceeds to drop the ball and have a horrible singles run\] 

One shall rise and one shall fall (spoiler: neither happens because SIKE, IT WAS A SWERVE ALL ALONG, THE ENTIRE FEUD IN FACT IS JUST A RIB TOWARDS WWF AND THE HIGHER POWER STORYLINE, NOTHING FUCKING MATTERED)

\-Macho loses even more of his mind as he finds Nash hasn’t arrived yet and probably won’t show up because he drank too many drinks and took too many drugs with Scott Hall. Angered by this, Macho demands SOMEONE challenge him so that he may drown them in feces. The Stinger answers this challenge but only because he has nothing better to do (??!). 

But wait! Who’s that in the crowd? It’s Big Sexy and he has his travel bag with him! Little does Macho know that our Trickster Hero has an plan:

1. Hope someone answers Macho’s challenge

2. Sneak through security undetected

3. Come in when Macho is in the ring, leave the bag in the ring and then run towards the ramp

4. Hope both Macho and his harem are distracted enough to not pay attention behind their backs

5. The contortionist you hired to be inside your bag hopefully hasn’t passed out due to lack of oxigen, manages to get out of the bag and drop the feces on Macho

Truly a masterful plan (NO IT ISN’T, HOW THE FUCK DID THAT WORK)

\-the only good match of the evening happens between La Parka and Silver King vs Damien and Ciclope

\-Nash gets bamboozled 

A sample of what you can except from the Nitro episode where Nash gets hit by the white Hummer