i want to be in my band again

about 2-3 years ago my best friends and i formed a band and practised after school every week. i was the dummer and a pretty shit one at that, and was very afraid of performing. my passion for drumming was lost after year cuz for some reason i cant keep any hobby for longer than that LOL. my friends were all really good at their roles and were wanting to perform for the schools music festival. i was too afraid to do any kind of performance and felt like i was lacking both the drive and skill to be in the band. i loved being in it, but i hated the nagging feeling of being the shackle of the group. while i lost my passion for drumming, i ended up leaving the band because i felt like i was holding them back. i sold my drums, and after some time i got a bass, but nothing really got off the ground with that either. i want to get better at bass so i can comfortably play songs i like, so im looking into lessons but havent planned anything yet. i really want to be involved with music in one way or another, every time i listen to music i feel so inspired and the pleasure of being in a band really pulls me in

between the time of leaving the band and now, i faced some major health and mental health issues and needed to take the entirety of last year off from school. obviously it led to me feeling isolated from all the friends i had back there. this year i'm back attending the same school with the same friends, but i still feel distant because of my poor attendance. my mental health is still massively unstable and ive been very absent from school because of it. the feeling of being in the band keeps entering my mind almost everyday because everything was so much more close and enjoyable then. i cant listen to music without crying over it!@!!!

i heard that they're still in the band together and performing at school festivals, and i really want to join back!!!!!!! i just dont think i can because they're functioning really well with all roles filled. i cant join back as a drummer cuz i dont have any room to put them if i wanted to get them back, and i cant as a bassist because they already have one. i have always really wanted to pick up guitar too but both me and my parents would like me to be at least mediocre at bass before moving on LOL. I WILL ENVER JOIN AS A SINGER!!!!!!!!!!!! NEVCER!!!!!!! ive also become even more self conscious and insecure than before, so ideally i wouldnt want to perform, which doesnt agree with their goals. and im unsure how my attendance would factor in with their commitment to the band, i feel like i wouldnt be able to give the band my all if i was to be accepted back in, and im worried that ill face the same feeling as before and drop it like last time.

has anyone faced something similar? id love any advice or input !!!