I want a Romance

18 M here

I have quite an interesting situation in college. There is this girl I like somewhat, obv she does not know it yet but I’ve been giving her hints, like casual flirting which can still be interpreted both ways, cuz I’m not stupid obv. It’s been almost 3 months now and I’m wondering whether I should stop cuz I’m not really FULLY in for a relationship if she asks me out, and I don’t even know if I want her to ask me out

I like our current dynamic, like friends who flirt occasionally, cuz it’s least dramatic, but I’m worried if she thinks I want a relationship with her

Honestly I don’t really MIND a relationship, it’s just that it will be my first one and yk you want your first relationship to be more.. sparky, like ig should feel like you’re in love,(like in the movies/novels). Like it should feel like your heart in the air, idk i want YEARNING, seperation, meeting of the souls, that sort of stuff,

I really want a Romance more than a relationship, but I don’t think I can have a romance with HER, but I really want one, there’s this other girl too who ik for sure likes me but I don’t like her even as a friend and well she doesn’t like ME, just some idealised version. Other than that I have no one, what if I end up alone, I mean idc I can fully do an eternal virgin life but I want at least smth, even if it’s a tragedy

What should I do?