I'm so tired of everyone assuming women will be the social secretary

Rant: I'm so tired of being treated like the default manager of other adults.

I live in a shared apartment and my boyfriend is around a lot. We have friends over sometimes, which is fine, but the invisible job creep is driving me nuts. Whenever people are coming over, everyone looks to me for the details: what time are we eating, what should people bring, do we have enough chairs, what's the plan, where should people park, can you text so-and-so, can you remind everyone, can you clean up so it looks nice. My being in the room seems to flip a switch and suddenly I'm the event coordinator.

And it's not even asked with respect. There is this casual assumption that I will notice what's missing and fix it. If I do it, it's just normal. If I don't, I'm labeled "stressed," "not being welcoming," or told I "care too much." Meanwhile the guys can float in, be charming, and leave the logistics to the nearest woman like it's a given.

I already need solitude to recharge after social stuff, so being the unpaid human checklist makes me dread hanging out, even with people I actually like. I don't want praise. I want the assumption to stop.

I'm practicing saying things out loud like "I did not plan this, ask him" or "I'm not keeping track of that," but it is so ingrained that I still feel guilty.

If you have a short script that shuts this down without starting an argument, I'm all ears. Otherwise, thanks for letting me scream into the void.