is it normal to sob uncontrollably after pap smears and pelvic exams?

pretty straightforward title. i’m a 22yo woman and had my first pap and pelvic exam yesterday. i had been avoiding it for a long time because i knew it would not go well for me, but my PCP refused to refill my birth control prescription until i had one. i was not made aware it was a requirement and have been taking it for two years with zero issues. having it sprung on me suddenly on my literal LAST refill was already stressful, as it’s difficult to get an appointment on such short notice, but i digress.

the entire week between being told i needed one, and the day of the actual gyno appointment, i cried multiple times a day because i was so anxious. i have pain from things such as tampons, masturbation, and sexual intercourse, so i was horrified it was going to be like the stories i had read online. fortunately it was not painful whatsoever, and the nurse was extremely understanding and gentle. on paper it was a perfect experience and went as best as it could.

but i left that appointment feeling like a piece of me had been stripped away and i cried in the parking lot. since yesterday i have sobbed to the point of hyperventilating four separate times. i understand they are normal, important, and something we all have to do, but i have never felt so disgusting and humiliated in my entire life. i felt like an experiment, like i was nothing but something to be prodded, and like i was violated. having to present such a vulnerable and intimate part to a stranger, and let said stranger penetrate me with tools AND her fingers made me feel sick to my stomach and i began to dissociate because it was so mentally taxing. im at work currently and had to step away to the bathroom to cry again because every moment my brain isn’t occupied with something else, i feel it all again and feel the shame creep in.

yes im aware that’s her profession and she sees so many different bodies, but that isn’t the issue im grappling with. its just the fact that i had to be naked and touched by someone that i didnt consent to. i think the pelvic exam was worse than the pap simply because it was her own fingers and not a tool. it felt so intimate and the way she was telling me i was doing good, which was meant to be reassuring, ended up making me feel so so small. i can’t help but feel like im overreacting, but i genuinely dont think i can ever go through that again. i feel like a different person. is this normal? has anyone else left the gyno feeling this way? i just want it to stop. i want to let it go. but i can’t stop thinking about it. my gyno did everything right and isn’t influencing this feeling, so it’s not that. i don’t know what to do. i just don’t want to feel alone about it, i guess. it wouldn’t change anything, but it’d be nice to know im not alone.