I’m in love with my ex-girlfriend

Like the title says, I’m in love with my ex-girlfriend. My ex (20f) I (20f) dated when we were seniors in high school till the beginning of college— around 9 months. She had broken up with me because she was worried that she wasn’t actually ready for a serious adult relationship and the stress of college, but we stayed friend until I had gotten into a new relationship which ended up being very abusive and toxic. When I had gotten out of the relationship she had reached out and we both agreed we missed each other as friends and had hung out a few days later. The thing is, after that first hang out I realized I had feelings and not the “omg I need to get over my toxic relationship“ feeling, they were more like “wow I forgot how good she treated me and how kind her heart is.”

The issues started when we went to a party together and I got drunk and hit on her, she said no because I was drunk but held me in her lap and kissed my forehead a few times to make me feel better. Then a few days later, she admitted she was attracted to me and I admitted I was attracted to her. It’s been a month since then and we’ve made out a few times and she’s always asking to hang out. Whenever we hang out she makes excuses to touch me or hold my bag or just be in my personal space but when I ask, she just wants to be friends. The worst part is I know she is talking to some girl who works for an IT company near us but she‘s admitted that she wanted to hang out with me over the IT girl. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m terrified of telling her the truth and losing the only person I’ve ever been fully myself around, the only person who makes my stomach churn when I even smell her perfume, the only person who knows the ins and outs of my disabilities and still treats me like I’m a normal person, and the only safe zone I’ve ever had. Do I tell her and risk her in my life or do I just hope these feelings stop and be happy that she’s finally found someone after our breakup two years ago?