Rewatch: S8E10 just gutted me...

Tw: non-fictional death, grief

I dont know why, but I havent rewatched this season in a long time (I usually skip around). So long ago, that it was before my father passed away.

My last moments with my father were very similar to Lily in this episode. We were even similar ages. Seeing her go through denial, eventually landing on the acceptance of his condition... watching the back and forth of his resuscitation and trying to stay strong... I have never felt so in tune with a fictional character like this. Especially one that was only there for one episode. 4 years ago, I was exactly where she was. Not in the context of a car accident, and fortunately I only lost one family member that night. But it resonates nonetheless.

Additionally. Teddy reminds me so much of my step-mom during that time. Her attitude and general demeanor. The way she and Henry loved eachother despite having such little time together. Before the main event, my fathers health was back and forth a lot. Similar to Henry he had close to 50 surgical procedures. Even little details like he developed diabetes due to complications. And had thought he was on the path to being healthy, before it all just took a turn.

Like Teddy and Henry my dad and his wife joked in the ER and tried to stay positive in the midst of everything. They both held onto optimism until it was time to go, and it shattered my step-moms heart. She just sat with him and brushed his hair. Like Teddy did in the OR at the end.

Ive seen so many people die on this show that have reminded me of my dad. Thats normal when you have lost a loved one. But this episode specifically was something else.

Its 9am on a Wednesday, and Im just watching Greys in bed because im currently battling my own medical mystery. Just a casual rewatch. I knew exactly what was coming up in the show too. Never expected it would hit so hard.

Grief just pops up in random places.