AIO for putting out a man 30 minutes before he actually had to leave.

Okay, if you look at my post history you’ll see I’m a semi practicing Muslim so I want to address that first in case anybody thinks this is fake. We are diverse and I falter. So yes, I do things outside of the bonds of my faith due to my Western upbringing. Now to what matters.

I’ve had a friend for a few years and we recently got more involved. There’s many teensy “icks” I have about him such as constantly bringing up the friend group we meant through even though I’ve deliberately cut them off. Not grown apart from, excommunicated. Including one that was a “will they won’t they” situation. Because why bring that up? Especially the “we can’t tell X” because I’m having an entry level relationship and he’s messing with his friend’s old flame. It’s not my issue, I’m not doing wrong. He is. I wouldn’t say anything for lack of drama but it’s not my responsibility or my problem. I don’t even speak to X.

Yesterday he came when I was in a bad mood already and did a bunch of things that pissed me off. First, he kept bringing up X which bothered me. If you’re so guilty, leave me alone. That’s not my friend. Then he showed me his ex harassing him on his call log and lamented about how annoying it was because I was so much better anyways. I don’t like compliments paired with third party insults so this bothered me.

Then (unrelated ish) he, a native English speaker, argued with me about the pronunciation of “queue” which i haven’t done since the popularization of Netflix and as an avid reader and a language dork, it pissed me off. If I’m rarely wrong about a pronunciation, I usually google it to hold some humility before the argument hits the 90 second mark. I legitimately thought he was trolling me so I let him be right until ten minutes later, he played the pronunciation out loud and exclaimed “daaaaamn you were right.” Ew. Illiteracy and doubling down on being wrong with the world’s library in your pocket is ew.

Then he took a pic of me on Snapchat. For many reasons—my faith, X friend, and general incognito behavior—this made me uncomfortable. Especially because prior to taking the picture I said several times not to, and he said “that no sounds like a yes to me” took it, deleted it after I pitched a fit, and told me it was no big deal since he deleted it anyways. I said it was the principle of him testing my boundaries to see how I’d react that was wrong, not if the picture stayed up (which would be wrong IN ADDITION) and was kinda cold to him as I tried to calm down.

Then we went inside from the porch and he tried to lay up with me, which he does. I was in a bad mood before he came and he didn’t do anything but exacerbate that. I didn’t even mention the countless theological discussions he tried to push—though it was relevant ish because we were watching the Good Place—but not even as theory or as his beliefs, of what was true that he needed to tell me about which I find condescending. So I push him gently and say I’m not in the headspace for that much intimacy. He said he may as well leave if I don’t want to cuddle so I put on my slippers and grabbed his shoes and offered to walk him out. “Not even ten more minutes? You don’t want to even talk about what has you upset?” No. I didn’t. He proceeded to tell me I was being mean and we could at least talk about it but I was done. Bad day from start to finish and my pick me up just made everything worse.

Am I overreacting for throwing him out instead of just discussing what made me upset enough to do so (even if he initiated leaving on his own)? I just feel like I wouldn’t have been able to calmly discuss anything and that he wasn’t in a listening headspace?

And nothing please about having supposed to see the signs before now. We’ve been friends for years and talking for about a week. Male friends are very different than male suitors and their behavior proves that. There’s nothing that will put me back into intimacy with him so I don’t need to be told not to do that, just should I have talked to him/should I still talk to him as a friend and explain why we’re reverting back to platonic friendship?