I'm still the same pathetic daughter waiting for the love of a mother that despises me.

I really hoped that I'd be a real person that isn't affected by my mother's words, actions and facial expressions. Since my last posts she got really sick with a deadly bone infection and was hospitalized for months. I got pregnant during that time with what would have been my second child and had a miscarriage. My mother moved in with me after physical therapy because she had no place to go. It's been exactly like you'd imagine. I take care of her pills and meals and everything she needs. I sat by her beside for months in the hospital and advocated for her care. I try to not be reactive even though it's hard. Today she saw that I'd had coca cola and told me that she'd recently read an article that soda causes miscarriages. My miscarriage was caused by a chromosomal issue, but I didn't feel the need to tell me mother that. I told her it sounded like she was trying to blame me for the miscarriage and that she shouldn't be insinuating it's my fault and she said yes she should. Then she looked at me full of disgust. And you know what: I totally deserve it.