I wish i could stop waiting for you

And just exist when you’re gone and be happy when you’re here. But I can’t stop the fucking yearning like you can. It feels like you can turn it off like a light switch. But when I tell you I missed you I fucking mean it. I think of you more than I think of anything else and I wish it wasn’t like that. I just want to think like a normal person again. I don’t remember what it feels like to not want you.