out of the blue breakup

this was my (28f) first ever relationship. it only lasted 3 months officially (4 including dating) but i was so shocked when it ended. i felt like it was going somewhere. i didn’t see the breakup coming at all. worst of all i don’t even think he’s a bad guy. he just didn’t like me as much as i liked him. or at least that was his reason. he didn’t see it getting more serious or like he was developing more feelings. but that’s not what he led me to believe. i can’t stand that feeling. he just didn’t like me anymore? i had all my firsts with him. and now it feels like there was no point. what a waste. it’s only been a week and a half, but it feels like this will never end. sure maybe the days are getting a little easier, but when the sadness and anger hit it feels like it’s never ending. i know you’re supposed to let yourself feel it, and not bury it, but id give almost anything to not feel this way. i cant block him because i don’t want to admit it’s over. that all of those things i experienced really were for nothing. but the idea of going through this with anyone else over again is almost debilitating. i cant even remember my life before. i used to think i had everything i needed. my friends are the most important people in my life. but now i just dont know what to do. it’s like im living on autopilot. and i feel insane feeling this intensely over 4 months of my life. but it meant a lot to me. i’m so lost.