Due to a series of ✨traumas✨ leaving me with chronic pain, unemployed and creatively blocked, I have decided to begin microdosing LSD. 

I had my first dose about 30 minutes ago. 

If anyone has some wisdom, advice, experiences they’d like to share, I’d love to please hear them. 

Around 12 years ago I went through a separate difficult period in my life that I processed quite well at the time. I’ve realised it was likely because I was frequently taking LSD at the time recreationally (maybe a bit too frequently, moderate doses multiple times a week 🥴). 

I learned so much, completely changed my self-perception and my confidence and sense of self-worth skyrocketed. After an existential crisis I concluded that the meaning of life was simply living, and we must live by spreading as much love and compassion as possible without judgement. 

Because of my more recent hurdles, my confidence is incredibly low. I struggle to feel “valuable” and my day to day life seems grey and uninspiring. I fear my future and struggle with concerns that I’ll never be able to achieve anything worthwhile. I’m also frequently stuck in the past, reliving painful medical traumas, relationship traumas and feelings of self-loathing I hadn’t experienced since I was a teenager. An unexpected recent breakup has been the icing on the cake. 

I also realised I’ve barely had any psychedelics in years. They used to be my bread and butter, loved taking them semi-regularly after my initial binge (oops) but I had my first bad trip a couple years ago that spooked me. 

A couple of weeks ago I hit a low I didn’t think was possible. I simply no longer wanted to be here. It felt like no amount of “fixing” could repair my life. I wanted so badly to tap out. Fortunately I’ve had a spiritual awakening and firmly believe in collective consciousness and reincarnation, so I knew that wasn’t an option. 

So here I am. Faced with the realisation that I simply must get on with things. My external reality will not improve until my internal state is fixed. I’m really hoping that LSD will help me find my way through the darkness once again - even though I didn’t understand it deeply enough back then to know how it was benefitting me.  

I would love for this to reignite my creativity, giving me some purpose and direction. Maybe even income long-term. I’ll include a bit of my art in this post for self-motivation. It’s all quite old at this point. 

If you’ve made it this far, thanks for listening to my rant. This should’ve probably been a journal entry, lmao. Much love x

Day 1 of LSD microdose, 10ug in liquid form (32f)