Looking to hear from those who have gotten through my current chapter in their sex lives with a young family

My wife and I are both in our mid thirties. Married for 10 years with three kids (6, 4, and 1). We both LOVE our children, but having kids was a strain on our marriage. We have had many highs and lows over these last 6 years, including our sex life. We have taken the last 10 months to both work on communication and each gear of intimacy. It’s been great. We both feel very connected again. Truly best friends again. She fairly recently began being physically intimate (non sexual). Lots of hugs, kisses, holding hands, and cuddles. However, the sex life has been very difficult. Maybe 3 times a month, and usually only one of those times is it really from a place of wanting or desire on her end. We’ve had many conversations. She has specifically said, “I want to want to”. I know she still finds me attractive, we both take great care of our physical health. But overall, her arousal is very low. It’s not only a lack of wanting sex with me- she hasn’t masterbated in a couple of years. We are working on it together. I’ve recently stopped the conversations due to the feelings of pressure and failure that she feels. I have also started initiating less than before- just trying to make room for this to breath.

All in all, I’d love to hear from other couples who have already navigated a similar season in life. What made it easier on one another, what worked, what didn’t, etc.

I can give more details if needed in the responses. Thanks all