In process of converting, but am absolutely terrified of receiving communion because of the risk of getting sick (from something like norovirus)

Note: Been in therapy and on meds for nearly two decades attempting to heal this phobia.

Hello everyone! Recently, I spoke with a priest at my wife’s family’s church after attending mass and finding Christ a few months ago. I’ll be starting OCIA soon and will be all set for next Easter for my first communion at 33 years old. However, there is a massive problem (on my end entirely) I have a combination of issues that makes the idea of receiving the host terrifying.

Context: I’m a visually impaired (legally blind) man with severe GI issues, panic attacks, agoraphobia, and emetophobia. I haven’t eaten anything I haven’t prepared myself in nearly a decade, and if someone touches food, I literally can’t eat it without the next 4 days being me panicking about possibly having contracted a virus. I wash my hands thoroughly constantly to the point of sores and use gloves when eating with my hands.

While I understand it may sound silly, it is a real problem and I’m losing sleep over it.

I think of Jesus and all the martyrs suffering for the and then here I am struggling to do such a small thing. I’m actually crying while writing this because I feel absolutely pathetic.

I pray that there is something one of you can say to alleviate my dread and if not, I ask for your heartfelt prayers to heal my mental afflictions.

God bless.